Building Leadership Through Empathy: Lessons College Teaches You Every Day

College is full of people and moments that quietly test your empathy. The group project teammate who disappears for a week. The roommate who leaves dishes in the sink again. The friend who’s stressed but snaps at you anyway.

These are empathy pop quizzes. You don’t get a grade, but how you respond says a lot about the kind of leader you’re becoming. Developing empathy during college is not just about being nice, it’s a form of leadership development that will shape how you show up long after graduation.

When empathy feels impossible

Early in my career, I thought empathy meant carrying everyone else’s emotions around like an overstuffed backpack. It doesn’t. It’s about noticing what people might be carrying, not picking it up yourself.

That shift from rescuing to understanding changes everything. Sometimes what looks like indifference is actually exhaustion. Sometimes a sharp tone hides anxiety. You don’t have to excuse it, but pausing to ask “What might be true for them right now?” can turn a reaction into a thoughtful response.

Curiosity is empathy’s secret sidekick

Think of empathy as curiosity with heart. It’s less “I know how you feel” and more “I’m listening; tell me more.” That mindset makes you a better friend, teammate, and eventually a more grounded leader.

And yes....it’s harder than it sounds, especially when you’re stressed or overwhelmed. But empathy grows with practice, reflection, and patience. Every time you slow down and choose to understand instead of react, you strengthen your leadership muscle.

Practicing empathy without burning out

Start small:

• Ask one more question than you usually would.

• Listen for tone, not just words.

• Offer grace when you can, and boundaries when you need to.

Real empathy looks like paying attention, even when it’s uncomfortable. The leaders who stand out, the ones who inspire others, are those who keep their curiosity alive when everyone else is shutting down.

If this resonated, share it with a friend who’s also learning to lead. Talk about what empathy looks like in your own experiences, because leadership development happens faster (and feels better) when you grow together.

—Your friend, Gina

Founder, NextReady Studio

Helping students build confidence, clarity, and leadership through real-world learning.